A year++

San's a big and a happy 3 already, and we haven't realized it yet! :)

The preparations for her Minnie Mouse party were in full swing before the D-day, and I panicked every now and then, like a perfectly worrisome Mommy. I saw pinks and polkas everywhere. I wanted everything to be pink and wanted to put a bow on everything. We were on a crazy shopping spree! From the decorations to the dresses, I wanted everything to be almost perfect. But among all this craziness, I didn't realize that San has her own choices now. After all, a Minnie Mouse party was her idea!

We had this illusion that San, like an obedient little girl, will like everything that we'd want her to like. How silly that thought was! :) She refused to try out the dresses that we chose for her. The dresses were too itchy and the shoes were too shiny. Sigh! We, in our birthday-freak mode, couldn't look beyond the itchy dresses and the shiny shoes! But finally, keeping San's choices in mind, we found a perfect, non-itchy, polka-dotted dress for her. An achievement!

Everyday, San used to ask, "Is today my birthday?" And we used to do our usual birthday countdown then. Seeing her excitement, I was sure that she'd enjoy her third the most! After loads of shopping, some brainstorming for decorations, and preparations for the food, the D-day arrived.

San wanted to wear the 'white necklace', one of my pearls, and she did. I beamed at her excitement like a happy Mommy. So what if she didn't wanna wear a bow and didn't wanna let me do anything with her hair? (Uh oh! :-s) All decked up, we entered the party hall. San entered, minus the bow, minus her smile, and minus her excitement... it was a complete switch off! My Mommy heart was restless. I wanted her to smile for the pictures, squeal with joy like the other kids, jump around the place like she does at home, and behave like a perfect birthday girl. But she was far from doing all of this. She was at her silent, introvert best.


I explained myself that I should let her be. I told myself that I'll smile, squeal, talk, and jump around on her behalf. I told myself that I'll not let my restless Mommy heart bother me (at least during the party!). Was I able to achieve this? Not completely. I wanted her to have fun. Maybe she did, but not my Mommy way. The Mommyness, ugh!

I lost my last night's sleep over her crown that refused to sit perfectly on her head, the pictures that didn't please my Mommy heart, the little imperfections that teased me, but I finally succeeded in convincing myself that everything went great, San is perfect in all her moods, and all's well that ends well.

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So, my big girl has taken another step towards independence - she can wear half of her clothes almost perfectly and make a successful trip to the restroom, all by herself. Yay!

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The post is a part of the Mommy Brain Mixer!