Someday, we'll learn

The festive season, the festivities, the celebrations, the excitement... it's over now. I hope you all had a good time! :-)

Here's a little something that San and Papa dear got busy with this Diwali:

Painting the diyas! Serves as a great activity to keep the kids busy. :-)

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What's still on is San's Diwali break, or maybe should I say, Autumn break! Because it's still there, going on, happily with a wonderful load of homework (sigh!). And do you know what else can go on forever? My rant on my dislike for homework!

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Recently, San played musical chairs for the very first time at one of our outings. I'd explained her how to play and how not to react if she misses a chair and has to quit. She went on fine, down to three kids. And then it happened. She missed the chair and had to quit. And then what I feared, happened. She burst into tears and wept for quite some time while hugging me tightly. It wasn't the right time to explain her that games are supposed to be played for fun, not to win. We tried to explain her this later, but I'm not sure if she understood. She will learn with time, I believe.

The fear is, will she?

As a parent, I am supposed to support her, help her, inspire her. But then, as a parent, I also wonder if I'm doing my job right. These are common situations and fears that parents face, and still, we always get that "why-my-kid" feeling. Maybe, not every parent does. Maybe, I'm overreacting. Maybe, I too will learn to handle such situations better... someday!

Homework, the monster

Till the last year, San used to like doing her homework. New school, new notebooks, and a chance to write a lot. That is what San loved. Even though, I always wondered why these little kids are made to do so much homework, which is mostly repetitive writing, I never had to run after San to get it done.

Since the last few weeks, I see her fussing over the amount of homework she's getting. The number of pages is increasing, and so is her frustration. It's a repeat of the classwork and a couple of pages from the workbooks, and that is how it is, I believe, in most of the schools, unless they follow a different style. It pains me to see the little one spend her very precious time doing this homework. This means that she has to sacrifice her daytime nap and some of her playtime, at times. And the dreamy child that San is, she takes her own sweet time, along with all the whining, to write. She actually spends the whole day doing her homework with little breaks in between. Sigh!

She's sitting in front of me right now, writing a bit, chewing on her pencil, looking around, as if looking for an escape from the punishment that homework is.

Sad.

Not fair.

What is the use of making the kids practice writing so much that they start to lose interest in it? Why can't they just increase the school timings for preschools by an hour and make them write some more?

Looking at San, what I really want right now is a monster to appear and eat up all of San's homework! :D

I wonder what other parents feel about this.

P.S. Homework lovers, please don't get offended, and please please please don't tell me how useful it is! ;-)

Of trophies and broken hearts

Finally, the Ganesha festival events in our society are over. Sports, talent shows, dance, quiz, drawing and what not! It was a new experience for San. A first where she had to compete with other kids. She didn't know what it is like to compete. She thought she is good (the best) at everything.

When we talk about competitions, we talk about prizes and ranks. That's how it is (although, I wish it wasn't).

San had already had a not-so-great experience in the race that she ran, hoping that she'd be the first! She showed no interest in the fancy dress show, so I did not even try. She was, however, quite excited about the talent show where she was going to sing. I too was.

That evening, the kids started performing, showcasing the best of their skills on the stage. Confident, bold, happy kids. When San's name was called, she stuck to Papa dear and didn't want to go. We let her be. I had a small talk with her to cheer her up and build her confidence. I told her how beautifully she sings. The second time, she went up on the stage along with me. She wanted me to hold the mike. I did. But she froze. She kept looking at the audience who was cheering her. No effect. She remained frozen. I kept asking her what happened. No response. She just froze. She was clearly overwhelmed, and I too was.

San stayed in her shell with I-don't-know-what in her mind. Like a good Mommy, I should have kept quiet and let her be. But I couldn't help but ask her a couple of times, "What in the world happened?" The Mommy in me was restless and confused. I stayed in the restless mode, watching the other kids perform, and San stayed in the silent mode. I came to my senses later and realized how stupid I was to act like that. I said sorry to San, hugged her, and kissed her goodnight.

The next day, before the dance event was supposed to start, she walked up to the empty stage, and performed her song in front of me, the only audience. We had a good time playing pretend!

To my surprise, her dance performance went well. A solo performance and one in a group. I was grinning from ear to ear while watching her perform. All was well. She was down with fever, still, she did well.

In her favorite, the drawing competition, they'd to color a monkey face. The dreamy kid she is, she kept looking around before she started off with the blue crayon. She showed it to me and I said, "Use any color you want. Color it the way you like. Just do it." The result was a rainbow-faced monkey. Super!

So, all was supposed to end well, until they announced the results and gave away prizes yesterday. San's hungry eyes kept looking at the shiny medals and the trophies, hoping that she'd get at least one. No. She didn't. That's when her tears broke loose. The only thing she knew was she did not get a prize for the race, the dance, and her drawing. "Why?", she wondered. Of course, she was the best for herself and for us. I told her that we'll give her a prize from our side for performing so well. But nothing worked. What consoled her in the end was a chocolate that someone gave her. All was well once again.

Such a roller-coaster ride it was for San (and me)! I wish there were no competitions. And if there are, then they must reward everyone. But then, that is not how it is or will be. The firsts and the seconds will always be there. The medals and the trophies will always shine in their hands.

Maybe, I'll not say all of this if San wins one. Maybe, I'll forget all about the competition when I'll get to click a picture of San holding a trophy. Someday, maybe! :-)

What is good enough?

The day she watched the movie "Bhaag Milkha Bhaag" with us, she was keen on becoming a runner. She even made us buy her running shoes the very next day. Since then, all she wanted to do was run. She ran with Papa dear, with me, with her Grandpa, inside the house, in the balcony, in the park, and just anywhere she could.

Today was the day when she had to run her very first race; little, but very crucial, because it was her first, even if it was a little one organized as a part of the "Ganapati festival" events in our society. She woke up fine, had milk, had toast, and was all ready to race in her favorite running shoes, showing them off and running just everywhere. I kept cheering her and told her the dos and the donts of the race.

"Do not push, do not look at anyone else, run as fast as you can, and don't stop until you reach the finish line."

She started off fine, did not push, did not look at anyone else, ran as fast as she could, and reached the finish line (not first though). The kid behind her bumped into her by mistake, and there she was, face down, on the ground. My mind went blank. All I could see and hear was her tears (and the little bump on her forehead).

More than her, it was I who felt bad. I felt bad about how her first race ended. Nothing big. Kids run. They fall. They get hurt. They cry. Everything is perfectly normal. But I, as a Mommy, felt bad for San. Had she not fallen, I would have been good. It was a perfectly normal Mommy thing.

Holding her bandaged elbow and rubbing the bump on her head, San said, "I don't like running, Mommy."

"But you stood third, San! That is good enough for your first race." I tried to make her feel better.

"But Mommy, explain me how standing third in your first race is good enough? Tell me, Mommy, tell me!" San asked.

I have a big task ahead of me!

Daddy's girl or Mommy's?

"So, is she a Daddy's girl or Mommy's pet?" I've been asked this question a number of times, and I always have to think before I answer. Why? Because I always have no clue. Unless they say, "Aww, look at her! Has to be a Daddy's girl, right?" "Absolutely!", I say.

Kids are funny, unpredictable. San too is. In the morning, she is all Mommy's. Mommy owns all the morning hugs, kisses, and the stories of her good and bad dreams. Mommy pampers and gets pampered. Even in the daytime, Mommy rules, until she scolds San on some petty things and San screams "I want Papa!" And if Papa dear is around at that time, Mommy's time is done!

Milk time, homework time, playtime, story time, pasta time, massage time, timeout time, Mommy-not-well time, Mommy-gone-crazy time, Mommy-doesn't-wanna-cook time - they are all owned by Daddy!

Did Daddy win already?? Nope. :D
Ask San and she'll say, "I'm Daddy's girl.... AND Mommy's girl too!"

I want to be you, Mommy!

How do you feel when your kids tell you that they want to be 'you' or like you when they grow up? Obviously, proud! So, when you're sitting down and wondering what a thankless job being a Mommy is, talk to your kids and they'll produce an instant list of things that you do all day and how happy they are to have you around and as a Mommy! :-)

I dunno whether I've mentioned this incident any of the previous posts, so I'd talk about it. One fine day, I was chopping veggies for dinner when San came to me and asked me if she could help.

"Mommy, can I help you chop the veggies?"
"It's okay, San. You go play."
"No, but I wanna learn how to chop veggies, so that I can grow up and become like you."
"Like me? Wow! Why do you want to be like me, San?"
"So that I can cook food for everyone like you do. I want to be just like you."

Any Mom would love to hear this! :-)

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After wanting to become a chef, a doctor, an astronaut, and a runner, San now wants to become a cop. Why? I have no clue at all! :-)

"Can girls become policemen, Mommy?"
"Yes, San."
"I want to become a policeman when I grow up."
"Okay. But you'll need to study a lot and undergo some tough training to become one."
"So, to become a Mommy after growing up, did you have to study that much?"

Innocent questions and thoughts! What would you reply to this?

The Food Express

San is growing naughtier and more vocal with each passing day! Questions and stories and anecdotes and fairy tales and friends! She's got so much to talk about and ask. :-D And with her grandparents around these days, she's got more freedom of speech and expression! ;-)

San's newest interest is FOOD. She watches all food channels with me and always wants to help me out in the kitchen, although, most of the time, I shoo her out of the kitchen telling her that kitchen is not her workplace (I know I know, I shouldn't be doing that!) So one sunny day, she tells me that she wants to cook and she'll do it without using the gas stove and the knife. Sandwich is what she wanted to make for Mommy. I let her do it this time. And what I got is this lovely little surprise!

She didn't like the fact that I took the picture by uncovering the contents of the sandwich but that's what I wanted you all to see - the very cutely chopped tomato. <3 <3 She used one of those plastic knives that accompany the birthday cakes. I guess I should let her in the kitchen more often now! :-)

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Her school starts on Monday next week. Same school, same classmates, same van and a new class, a new teacher, a new bag, new books, notebooks, lunchbox, water bottle, uniform etc. New sessions are fun, aren't they? :-)

Let them be

Been two months since I last posted here! Was traveling yet again. San's holidays are on and we were on meet-the-grandparents mission. And that's how we spend the summer vacations in India! :-)

About San, she is just growing naughtier and more talkative, which is very natural. What else will they be like! She's been on a drawing spree these holidays and that reflects in the Mothers Day card that she gave me. :)

And here's something that she drew in an event at Papa's office:

And this reminds me of something that I wanted to talk about. About letting the kids be, and this is something that I did talk about earlier. At the event I just mentioned, we saw parents pushing their kids to draw the they way they wanted them to, correcting them at every stroke, trying to make their very natural and innocent sketches perfect. Even going to the extent of drawing for them. Why? So that they can win a certificate, which you can flaunt everywhere? So that you can tell the world how good they are at something that is more you than them?

I too find myself pushing San at times... nagging her, correcting her, perfecting her. And later, I feel bad about it. There's something inside us that pushes us to push them. We need to control that urge to perfect them all the time.

Kids are fine the way they are. We don't have to make them look good all the time. They are fine... just fine!

How often do you find yourselves doing this?

This is THAT phase

San loves to look at the 'stars' and the 'goods' that she gets for her writing work from her teacher in her school notebooks. Daily, she shows them off to me, very proudly. Yesterday was another such day. While she was admiring her work, she noticed something on the pages that she hadn't noticed before. She came to me and said, "Look, Mommy! With the stars, teacher had been giving 'this' to me all the time and I never saw it. It's so nice! What is it?" "It's your teacher's signature, San.", I said, breaking her heart.

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She's growing. Growing taller and louder and smarter and getting really girlish (and tomboyish). It bothers me at times. It bothers me when people see her, talk to her, pinch her cheeks, hug her, and ask too many questions about her. It bothers me when people are around her. Well, it's just the Mommy thing. My kind of Mommy thing. Sigh! I hope I get over it soon.

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San is in that phase where kids love to show off. Show off their skills, their colors, their toys, their house, their friends, just everything. It's cute, but not all the time. It's harmless, but not all the time.

It's also that phase where kids love to point out what other kids have and they don't.  It's also that phase where they threaten you with their tears, their screams, and a lot of other drama. It's that phase where they know very well what works for them and what not. It's that phase where they question everything, argue about everything, and think that they know everything.

Phew!

D is for dance, R is for riddles

Finally, San's school's annual function is done with. After long sessions of dance practice at school, the kids performed really well on the D-day. It's wonderful to see all these kids perform on the stage without any stage-fright and nervousness, something that they aren't even aware of. It was a pure delight to watch San dance and we're a step prouder now! All fluffy! Hoho! :-D

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Kids are a reflection of us. I've been reading and hearing about this since long. I'm seeing it now, clearly. Sigh! I wish I could handle my patience better and so that San learns the same.

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There's a new thing that San loves to do now: play riddles. The simple ones. Guess the object/animal/vegetable/fruit, basically any noun, by its first letter, color, and one more helpful clue. So this is what happened today:

Mommy, I'll ask you one puzzle and I'm sure you won't be able to guess.
Okay, ask.
It starts with T, it's an animal, it's white in color, and it's found in the jungle.
(I thought hard for some time and I couldn't guess.)
Ok, I give up San. What is it?
See I told you that you won't be able to guess. (Does a little happy dance here.) It's a Tiger, Mommy!!
Huh? No, San. It's all wrong.
It's right! It's a white tiger!

Kids, I tell you! :-D

Life is good

So we're finally done with the Republic Day dress-up! We were actually done the last week, but I, as usual, am late to write about it. :)

San dressed up as the mighty Mangal Pandey, and she was good! Took me some time to convince her that it's okay to dress up as a boy and put a mustache, and that nobody would laugh at her... phew! Actually, it's the rifle that did it. She loved carrying it. :-p All's well that ends well!

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It's good to see your child develop. Some good things, some not-so-good things. Some great speech, some not-so-great words. They need to be reminded daily of a few things that they forget on a daily basis, like how to brush their teeth, how to talk politely, what not to say/do. And it's great to see them go to school everyday, happily. It's great to see them care for plants, chase the butterflies and birds, and their efforts to feed them. It's amazing how they forget their illness and beam at the sight of their friends or favorite cartoons. It's cute when they care for you just like you do.The life goes on, and so does the learning, both for them and us. 

AND it's funny when you can't think of a title for your blog post and give it some random title.

Dress-up dilemma

Almost a month again, sigh! Why can't I update regularly? Why?

Anyway, whys aside, San took her first off from school today, owing to a sore throat and loss of sleep. She's very happy about this off and proudly told me that she'd be declared absent in her class today! Yup, that's as good as winning a medal for her. ;-)

She has grown up, she talks grown up, and she expects us to behave like grown ups. What does that mean? It means that we need to talk sense and kiddish stuff doesn't work much now. That aside, she's enjoying school a lot. They need to go dressed up as a freedom fighter and recite a few lines (dialog) as a part of the Republic Day celebration next week. I'm still thinking who to dress her up as. Any ideas (apart from the very commonly done Rani Laxmi Bai)? :-)