My flu-stricken l'll red devil

San and I have been a bit under the weather, and still are, thanks to the great coldy (San's vocab) weather that made an abrupt appearance. But then, it's getting better with all the sunshine! And among all the sniffles and coughs, we managed to be a part of a Halloween Party over the weekend. Although the theme was evil, I still managed to be a 'good witch', only for San. :) We also managed to get her into the little devil costume by convincing her that it's a red cat costume! ;)

For our first ever Halloween party, I decided to bake a 'cemetery cake' and make it look (only look, not taste) as gross as possible. When I showed it to San, I expected her to say 'yucky', but she said 'yummy' instead! :P What would you say?

San's Halloween class party is yet to come and she's all excited to wear her Dora-inspired costume (not a Dora costume for sure!) for it. :-)

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Lemme also tell you that San totally loves her medicine! She wasn't very keen to have it from the little measuring cup or a medicine dispenser, so she brought a straw and offered to drink it straight out of the bottle! :D And the best part is that each time you ask her how she is, she tells you that she's doing fine, and good. I'm happy that she doesn't put up a drama when she's not well, just like I do! :P

The Mommy Brain Drain

Lately, I've found myself constantly nagging San about something or the other. I feel restless and talk rude when she struggles to get into her clothes by herself real slow, when she wanders off to her wonderland and forgets what she'd been doing, when she mixes all colors of the play-doh and comes up with an ugly-looking lump, when she reveals her finicky-self at the dinner table, when she happily sings her Dora song and stays in that Doraland... I know I'm not letting her be, I hate it, but I can't help it.

Maybe, I see a reflection of myself in her. The way I was when I was young... the timid one, the slow one...  the girl who always chose a quiet, dark corner to sit, the one who was super-choosy about her food, the one who always stayed in her wonderland cuz' she never understood the real one. I don't want San to be like that, like I was. I want her to be like those kids who scream their lungs out, who are aggressive, who get what they want from others without sharing their own, who are highly social, who eat whatever is edible, who have that great ability to turn the whole place upside down. Really? No. That is just a part of my momentary thoughtless thinking.

The other day, a kid hit San with his toy. She came to me and cried. She looked like a weakling who can never stand up to a bully. There isn't a big deal about this episode. It's a very common thing that happens when kids play... pushing, pulling, hitting... But it hit me more than it hit her. The Mommy me wanted her to defend herself and stand strong. And by that, I don't mean that she should've hit back, but just appeared and acted strong. Now roll your eyes and tell me, "Isn't that a bit too much to expect from a three-year old?" Yes, it is. But I'm unable to make the Mommy me understand this simple fact. Sigh!

Is it so difficult to let your kids be? No. All I need to do is switch off my overworked brain.

Some pre-Halloween talk

Flipping through the pages of the Party City's Halloween Special booklet, I asked San, "So what should Mommy be this Halloween?" San was a cat last year, and has several options to choose from this year, although she's insisting on becoming Dora, which I absolutely don't want her to be! To get her off it, I thought of letting her decide my costume.

"You be this, Mommy", said San, pointing to a cute Lady Bug costume.
"That's too cute for Mommy, San. How about this witch?"
"Witches are bad, Mommy!"
"I'll be the good witch, San, just like the one in that Dora's Halloween episode!"
"Okay, Mommy. You be the good witch and I'll be the baby witch!"
"What about Papa?"
"He'll be the scary monster, Mommy!"

So that is what was decided until tonight when San spotted the Bumble Bee. Now she wants me to be the Mommy Bee and she'd be the Baby Bee. Dunno what Papa is gonna bee, err be!

A year++

San's a big and a happy 3 already, and we haven't realized it yet! :)

The preparations for her Minnie Mouse party were in full swing before the D-day, and I panicked every now and then, like a perfectly worrisome Mommy. I saw pinks and polkas everywhere. I wanted everything to be pink and wanted to put a bow on everything. We were on a crazy shopping spree! From the decorations to the dresses, I wanted everything to be almost perfect. But among all this craziness, I didn't realize that San has her own choices now. After all, a Minnie Mouse party was her idea!

We had this illusion that San, like an obedient little girl, will like everything that we'd want her to like. How silly that thought was! :) She refused to try out the dresses that we chose for her. The dresses were too itchy and the shoes were too shiny. Sigh! We, in our birthday-freak mode, couldn't look beyond the itchy dresses and the shiny shoes! But finally, keeping San's choices in mind, we found a perfect, non-itchy, polka-dotted dress for her. An achievement!

Everyday, San used to ask, "Is today my birthday?" And we used to do our usual birthday countdown then. Seeing her excitement, I was sure that she'd enjoy her third the most! After loads of shopping, some brainstorming for decorations, and preparations for the food, the D-day arrived.

San wanted to wear the 'white necklace', one of my pearls, and she did. I beamed at her excitement like a happy Mommy. So what if she didn't wanna wear a bow and didn't wanna let me do anything with her hair? (Uh oh! :-s) All decked up, we entered the party hall. San entered, minus the bow, minus her smile, and minus her excitement... it was a complete switch off! My Mommy heart was restless. I wanted her to smile for the pictures, squeal with joy like the other kids, jump around the place like she does at home, and behave like a perfect birthday girl. But she was far from doing all of this. She was at her silent, introvert best.


I explained myself that I should let her be. I told myself that I'll smile, squeal, talk, and jump around on her behalf. I told myself that I'll not let my restless Mommy heart bother me (at least during the party!). Was I able to achieve this? Not completely. I wanted her to have fun. Maybe she did, but not my Mommy way. The Mommyness, ugh!

I lost my last night's sleep over her crown that refused to sit perfectly on her head, the pictures that didn't please my Mommy heart, the little imperfections that teased me, but I finally succeeded in convincing myself that everything went great, San is perfect in all her moods, and all's well that ends well.

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So, my big girl has taken another step towards independence - she can wear half of her clothes almost perfectly and make a successful trip to the restroom, all by herself. Yay!

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The post is a part of the Mommy Brain Mixer!